Posted by
Elrond on Friday, September 01, 2006 9:35:50 AM
Do you want to have more influence over people? Would you like to write persuasively? Do you have a point you are trying to get across but your audience does not seem to respond? Are you a reasonable, intelligent, even articulate person, but your impact is limited in some way? This article is an attempt to help you find greater satisfaction in your dealings with your fellow human beings.
Maybe you are trying to convince some dinosaur brain to drop his/her radical belief system, and see things the right way, YOUR way. Will this happen if you charge right in with your blog and blow his arguments to smithereens and show them how utterly misguided they are?
Do you understand your opponent? Do you empathize at all with their point of view? Are you clear about it? If you want to bridge the gulf between their viewpoint and yours, you must firstly understand it, and that not merely on a shallow level. To be effective in such circumstances, you need to get your hands dirty and see things from your opponents point of view. To be influential with them you must demonstrate that you understand the situation to their satisfaction, not just your own. Truth is a great thing, but it's hard to share when the sharee is not willing to receive it.
Two things may help you here. One is a book called, Writing With Power, by Peter Elbow. This book and others like it can make your writing come alive.
The other thing that will help you influence others is to understand them intimately. You need to understand their value system and why they are behaving as they are, or you will find them very confusing. What you need is a guide to keep you on track when the world behaves bizarrely. What you need is Spiral Dynamics .
Things have changed a lot in the last several years. Liberals have gotten more liberal, conservatives, more conservative. Religious people are more religious, crazy folks more crazy, etc. Politicians are more political. You get the point. But these are all natural developments; predictable and understandable. Even tolerable. But to be able to tolerate these seemingly huge gaps between different groups of human beings will take courage, selflessness, and understanding at a much higher level than we are accustomed to.
The right-left paradigm is a limited view. There are far more categories of people than this . There is an underlying structure to the many different memes we see unfolding. Those who understand that structure may be able to act more wisely in today's turbulent world. Proverbs 4:7 ....with all thy getting, get understanding. Your influence will be limited to people who already agree with you unless you find a way to appeal to more than those who are members of your team. Understanding the stages of human development will give you an inside look at what each meme is and where it is going.
We all want to have power and influence with others. This requires that we understand them. We must know what makes them tick, how they see the world. We need to see that all they are trying to do is to contribute to a better world. Remember the saying, one man's contribution is another man's poison? I don't either, but that describes what's going on in the political world around us. The 'lefties' are 'contributing' in their way, and the righties are contributing in theirs. Both 'sides' need to realize we are no longer in a left-right world. We are now more like 2 of the 5 fingers in your hand, as opposed to two arms opposing each other.
In general, the left prefers the external world in politics. They think conditions can be changed entirely by changing the government, the state, the environment, and so on. They don't emphasize internal characteristics much.
The right on the other hand prefer the internal realm. Individuals can rise above conditioning and change the world by changing themselves. The answers are within.
As a result, solutions from the right appear as problems to the left, and vice versa. We all need to slow down and understand each other on a deeper level than we have heretofore done. And we need to write in such a way as to forward the conversation.
Comments appreciated.